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Random question #1




Why is it when you sneeze and the spray bounces off your hand and back under your nose that sometimes it smells like “clean” dog breath or a dog’s wet nose? It’s weird.

I think need to get some gum…

What the hell #25



Lazy people

I know I complained about people in my office before -yes we still had this soap problem last week, almost a year after I wrote that. This time, however, we have a printer issue.

This woman comes to me because she has trouble printing. I look at the printer and see that she has put two side-by-side stacks of paper in a tray that is set up for large paper. I wanted to slap her. In any printer there is either a fixed size tray or adjustable tray. in either setting the paper is always in the tray tight. 90% of the time there is a sticker for the paper size or when you look in the tray you can see where the tabs are set and what paper size they are set at. Some computer nerd didn’t set this up so you have to be a rocket scientist, they were set up so anyone could change the paper.

I get more questions about our printers, that end up with me adding paper to a printer then I do any other questions here. It’s ridiculous. I don’t understand how such lazy people stay employed. Sure it’s great to have job security by working with a few morons…but I’d rather spend my day working on other issues and not wiping people’s noses.


Confession Wednesday #31



I like being single

I really enjoy being single. I have less bologna to deal with. I have less drama to deal with. I like sitting at home alone. I like calling friends to go to weddings. I like asking friends to go to movies. I like having no one special. No really. Did I ever tell you people annoy me? Well lemme back up a minute here.

Yesterday I was finally catching up on my reading and I cam across a post from Thérèse @ Shoeism. It’s where you want to be. Let’s just say it starts off by saying:

“Yeah, I heard you were still single. You are, aren’t you? Why?”

Need I say more?

So my rant is about the life of a single person. I know a lot of single people that like being single. Sure they want to find someone, sure they like relationships…they just haven’t found the right person yet. What totally amuses me is the people I know that are in relationships that ask single people these silly questions. I mean, you were single once too right? Did you like it when people asked you about being single all the time? No. So why in the hell are you asking us?!

I’ll tell you why: because you are insane. I’m not a complete cynical bastard when it comes to love and relationships; however, I’m not scared to say the obvious: relationships are poison.

I know some people go from crying about how their friends don’t hang out with them anymore because they spend all their time with there significant other…then when they meet someone they do the same thing. Personally, I laugh at those friends; because they are crazy too.

I know some people who go from talking about how terrible their life is now that they are married, to asking their friends when they are going to get married. Do you think I even want to think about getting married or talking to you about it once you told me how terrible your life is? I think not.

It doesn’t stop there.

So now you have a wonderful relationship. You get married. What happens now? People want to know when you are having kids. They won’t shut up about it…kids kids kids. they talk about how there is nothing better then being a parent. Five seconds later they are screaming at their kids on the phone for getting arrested for the 3rd time and talking about how they will kill them when they get home.

So for now: I like being single.

I get to have the same daily misery that those in relationships have, but I don’t have anyone to nag with questions. Although, I wouldn’t mind asking people “Hey Bill! You still married? You need to get a divorce!” or “Hey Sue! Did you kill little Joey yet? You need to get rid of that kid!” Would I do that? NO! It’s f**king rude! Just like the nosey questions people ask single folks.

If you are one of those people that asks questions, stop and think about how much you didn’t enjoy it when you were single. Besides, in some cases we really do have the better life. :P

Disclaimer: There is excessive sarcasm all over this mess of a blog. If you can’t see it or you’re offended, please go home. I’m actually in a great mood today…contrary to what you might think.

Photo moment #51



“The journey is difficult, immerse. We will travel as far as we can, but we cannot in one lifetime see all that we would like to see or to learn all that we hunger to know.”
– Loren Eiseley

[Chichén ltzá]

What the hell #24



Pacman lives on

So you’re a bunch of smart people and you like games…old school games. You like cell phones and surprisingly you have friends. What do you do?

You figure out a way to play Pacman with your friends using real people and cell phones for collecting points. Yes, you are that super-cool.

Science and Technology at Lancaster – Mobile Gaming Technology Brings Pacman To Life

In other news #46



I feel different

There’s something to be said for taking a break from everything…and taking a break from everything can be a lot harder then you realize.

Going back to school after a four year break I wanted to put a lot of effort into my classes. My GPA since I have gone back is just shy of an A-…the highest it’s been in over 6 years. I knew there was some stress, but I wasn’t pulling my hair out (yet).

Work is work for me. It’s a career. It’s a job. Most of all I have some responsibilities that affect everyone I work with, their jobs and our clients. I have days that make me sweat and stress; and I have days I feel like I could nap at my desk (like some of my coworkers).

It was over two years since I had taken a “long vacation” that was a much needed break. I forgot what it was like.

I forgot what it was like to walk away from work and unplug the phone. I forgot what it was like to have a break between classes. I forgot what it was like to forget about everything you think about everyday…and concentrate on something new, but temporary…just to get away.

Everyone should take a vacation…even if it’s just locking yourself in your room for the weekend. Unplugging yourself from the world feels good. Like a colonoscopy for your soul…HEY, if I didn’t make one funny comment you would have thought I lost my mind.

I’m still here, I’ve been a little lax…but not for much longer.