I like being single

I really enjoy being single. I have less bologna to deal with. I have less drama to deal with. I like sitting at home alone. I like calling friends to go to weddings. I like asking friends to go to movies. I like having no one special. No really. Did I ever tell you people annoy me? Well lemme back up a minute here.

Yesterday I was finally catching up on my reading and I cam across a post from Thérèse @ Shoeism. It’s where you want to be. Let’s just say it starts off by saying:

“Yeah, I heard you were still single. You are, aren’t you? Why?”

Need I say more?

So my rant is about the life of a single person. I know a lot of single people that like being single. Sure they want to find someone, sure they like relationships…they just haven’t found the right person yet. What totally amuses me is the people I know that are in relationships that ask single people these silly questions. I mean, you were single once too right? Did you like it when people asked you about being single all the time? No. So why in the hell are you asking us?!

I’ll tell you why: because you are insane. I’m not a complete cynical bastard when it comes to love and relationships; however, I’m not scared to say the obvious: relationships are poison.

I know some people go from crying about how their friends don’t hang out with them anymore because they spend all their time with there significant other…then when they meet someone they do the same thing. Personally, I laugh at those friends; because they are crazy too.

I know some people who go from talking about how terrible their life is now that they are married, to asking their friends when they are going to get married. Do you think I even want to think about getting married or talking to you about it once you told me how terrible your life is? I think not.

It doesn’t stop there.

So now you have a wonderful relationship. You get married. What happens now? People want to know when you are having kids. They won’t shut up about it…kids kids kids. they talk about how there is nothing better then being a parent. Five seconds later they are screaming at their kids on the phone for getting arrested for the 3rd time and talking about how they will kill them when they get home.

So for now: I like being single.

I get to have the same daily misery that those in relationships have, but I don’t have anyone to nag with questions. Although, I wouldn’t mind asking people “Hey Bill! You still married? You need to get a divorce!” or “Hey Sue! Did you kill little Joey yet? You need to get rid of that kid!” Would I do that? NO! It’s f**king rude! Just like the nosey questions people ask single folks.

If you are one of those people that asks questions, stop and think about how much you didn’t enjoy it when you were single. Besides, in some cases we really do have the better life. :P

Disclaimer: There is excessive sarcasm all over this mess of a blog. If you can’t see it or you’re offended, please go home. I’m actually in a great mood today…contrary to what you might think.