Yeay! today is Talk Like A Pirate Day! Now I can tell Pirate jokes all day…
Q. What is a pirate’s favorite television show?
A. The ARRRsenio Hall Show!
Q. What is a pirate’s favorite pair of socks?
Q. What did Captain Hook die from?
A. Jock itch.
Q. What is a pirate’s favorite dessert?
A. Chips A-Hoy!
Q. What did the pirate call his dog?
Q. How does a pirate say “thank you” in Japanese?
Q. Why didn’t the pirate go to the movies?
A. Because it was rated aarrrrrrrrrahhhhh.
A soldier meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The soldier notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch.
“How did you end up with a peg leg?” he asks.
The pirate replies, “I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”
“Wow!” says the soldier. “What about your hook?”
“Well,” answers the pirate, “we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand.”
“Incredible. How’d you get the eye patch?”
“A grapefruit squirted in my eye,” the pirate replies.
“You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?”
“Well,” says the pirate, “it was my first day with the new hook.”
Scorpio – InfoSpace
Don’t you need a love first, before you can rock the love boat? I suppose you could have a lover’s quarrel with yourself, but it really would not be that productive -not that a lover’s quarrel is ever productive. Blah. Boring.
“Don’t rock the love boat just because you’re feeling a touch cantankerous, or it could be a totally unnecessary case of passenger overboard. There’s a time and a place for a big discussion, so make sure this absolutely needs discussing before you march in and announce it’s time for a state-of-the-union address. Current aggressive astrological influences could trigger a full-scale war from a minor disagreement, so you might want to save it for later.”
Daily Horoscope: Scorpio – InfoSpace