The behavior of humans

So I will take more heat then ever on this post, but what the heck? I am about to explain why men cannot understand women and why women can understand men – but they get pissed at them because the understand them. No really I have faith I can do this…

So my roommate has a dog that just so happens to be female. Now before I say anything else, let me just say that this is really not supposed to be me drawing a relationship to women and dogs, but females in general. Now I think I added enough disclaimers here so onto my point…

So my roommate has a female dog; part beagle and part daschaund. When we leave for food and come back 15 minutes later she cries and yelps when he walks in the door. Some dogs do this, some do not..some women and some men get excited when their significant other comes home – granted it’s not usually after 15 minutes, but we’ll just attribute that to dog years (joke folks). Right. This is where it gets interesting. No really it’s interesting and pseudo-scientific. My roommate treats his dog with TLC. He only scolds her when she gets in the trash or has an accident that was more her fault then him not taking her out…the typical minor things. He takes pretty good care of her; she’s older so she still plays, but not as much. The dog does have accidents sometimes and that is to be expected, however, there are many times she does it on purpose.

Interesting enough…Lucky [dog’s name] can be getting all the attention in the world or none for a day -it doesn’t matter- and when my roommate plays a video game or when we all (I have two roommates) play a video game the dog will go an pee in my room or my other roommate’s room. Note: she will NOT go in “her” bedroom. Interesting. Sound familiar to any male out there yet? She’s jealous and pissed because he is with us. No I am not making things up! This happens when he spends time with his girlfriend too. When he goes to work we can no longer leave the dog out because she will pee within 5 minutes of him taking her out. He has tried taking her out when he wakes up, after he feeds her and just before he walks out the door. She will still find some way to pee within the next five to ten minutes before I come downstairs. Just because she is pissed! Now before you get too pissed: yes he has taken her to the vet many times. There are situations where she has a bladder infection, however, most of the time the vet contends that she is just pissed.

I watched her for 4 days a few months ago, I played with her and I let her in my room when I was home to sit or lay on the floor, but she still got pissed. Not at me :) She pulled the sheets back in my roommate’s bed, pee’d about three times (based on the volume) and pooped, then rubbed it in a little and pulled the sheet over it a bit. Aww how sweet!

So she whines, she gets pissed, she’s over protective and she can be a jealous bitch [literal use]. This is so familiar to me and my experience with females; not just the ones I date!! Women are crazy and men are stupid and more crazy for putting up with the crap. Girls will get pissed for no reason other then to add a little excitement into “the relationship”. WHAT?!?!? Where is the logic in that? What the heck is wrong with just enjoying one another? Just like the dog…she is fed on time, given attention, taken care of and given treats for good reasons and for no reasons…most of all never abused. Yet, right after she gets a treat if we leave to see a movie or something -yup you guessed it, she will pee on the floor. Just like a small child looking for attention and just like some women (I have to save face fellas).

Not long ago a women at work was talking to me and mentioned something I will never forget – because I have said it, but when she said it she gave it more validity. “You can never understand women; women don’t understand women or themselves. Most of all, once you think you understand a woman will change.” Sigh, that is so true.

So to me, having Lucky in the house is more a lesson in life then anything else.

“Guys are simple…women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”

– Dave Barry