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For all or for one

02.29.2012

babblingdweeb

There are a handful of times in my life where my passions threatened to tire me out or wear me down. I focused on this issue or that issue, distracting myself from homework, assignments, life, whatever –you get the point. Maybe it’s a process at the office that negatively effects everyone…but not enough that management realizes that it’s a big deal. I focus less on my daily tasks and more on the larger issue that everyone else wants to overlook -because it’s too big, or it will never be fixed. I know not everything can be fixed. Those situations, while frustrating, are generally logical. You spill milk, you don’t usually lick it off the counter…you clean it up and pour another glass. I know, it’s a broad metaphor, but it works.

The problem is when something that actually could be fixed and is possible to be fixed, won’t be fixed. That makes me freak out a little. Okay, let’s be honest. I become obsessed. I really like to know answers to “Why?” questions. Especially “Why not?” ones. The “Why?” questions help broaden your horizon…I’ve always like those. I’m sure I was really annoying as a child too. The “Why not?” questions explain the barriers. I tend to obsess over those. I generally don’t try a direct approach to remove them…actually if I get a reasonable answer, I actually accept them. However, I have this crazy notion that I can find a way around them. I don’t know why, but that’s what I think I can do. Unfortunately, regardless of whether I can or cannot accomplish such a task…obsessing over it tends to be a problem.

As I reach the edge of frustration, I often find advice from people I trust…people I respect. The advice is usually the same: rather than focus on others, sometimes you just need to look out for yourself. Logical. Reasonable. It explains my barrier, but I don’t like it. Maybe it’s what I need to hear. Maybe I need to follow said advice. So why don’t I? After years of wondering about it, yesterday I had a moment of clarity after getting that advice one more time.

The problem is: that advice, it’s the answer to a “Why?” question…and a “Why not?” question. Why is something like this, and why hasn’t it been fixed yet? Sure people may have tried, but the probelm persists. Why? Because we tell people to accept the problem and move on. We tell them to look out for themselves -or they already do and they aren’t working on it anyway.

The advice might be something I need to hear, but not because I’ll stop working on the problem. Problems, like onions, have layers. This advice, it’s just another one of the layers.

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