Posts from the ‘confession wednesday’ Category

I seek inspiration

As I have talked about before, I try to find inspiration in many things. I’m not just looking for inspiration for me, but to try and inspire people around me.

If you have been following along in my life, or just stopped by: today I got to check off the first person on my “people I want to meet” list. Rudy Giuliani. Note: my list is not a numbered list, he was just the first one of many to come that I got to meet. This milestone is just me crossing the starting line in my race to understand what it is that inspires me about the people on my list; and find a way to integrate those principles of inspiration into my own life so that I may one day inspire others.

This isn’t about becoming someone I’m not, or trying to emulate someone while neglecting my own self. It’s about refining my own views and beliefs while learning and understanding others. The scary part is when I find many views I have had for a long time are the same as those I admire. Sometimes I feel it’s common sense and other times I think I needed reassurance that I was seeing things correctly.

I have a strong desire to become a CEO coach or executive leadership trainer. I feel that many managers, executives, politicians and even religious leaders lack certain skills to portray their personal vision concisely to the people listening to them. This is where my personal investment in inspirational research can pay off; I just need to take good notes.

Today I attended the Luminary Series: Principles of Leadership event. While much more information could be gained by reading the book; I enjoyed the event. I felt I got to know a little more about Rudy by listening to him speak; after all you need to be able to sell your ideas in person, not just in print. I was pleased that I was called on during the Q&A [Question & Answer] session…I got a little more insight into the “morning meeting” that I wanted. My question was a little bit of a loaded question because I wanted to see how he answered it; he passed my little test. From what I can tell (what do I know?) he’s a very genuine person and not milking the 9/11 disaster for money as many like to claim. One cannot ignore the reduction in crime that statics prove; nor the unorthodox ideas of bringing small business concepts to the public [government] sector. Those small business tactics paid off for Rudy. weather it was luck or a well managed idea with a well working team; I say a little of both. Warren Bennis would say that luck plays a factor because a strong leader that is well prepared can create his/her own luck. Rudy did just that.

I found that Rudy looked to Churchill’s life for strength in hard times and he found inspiration in one of my favorite politicians, John F. Kennedy. There are two JFK books Rudy talks about in his book that are also on my “too read” list; when I read them I’ll post a review.

I went looking for and ounce of inspiration and I found truck loads. Thanks Rudy, I needed that.

“I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled [poets] to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.”
– Socrates

I don’t develop my film

For those old school folks that do not have a digital camera, you know all about film. For those of you that have no idea what film is, you are from Mars. I don’t care if you haven’t used a 35mm camera in years -hell if you have ever used one. Almost everyone that has bought a disposable camera or shot a roll of film at some point in their life forgot to get it developed.

Not long ago when I was cleaning my room –a regular pastime– I found a box with xis [6] rolls of film. Three had not been developed yet…hmm hidden treasures! It was like opening a box you put away long ago to find some old newspaper clippings, clothes, papers from school, letter from a friend…letter from a lover; it brought a smile and some hope. Hope?

Hope. When you open a letter you thought you misplaced, you find an old photo album…you find that journal you thought you lost…a piece of you holds hope in the memories you are about to relive will be remembered just as yesterday.

I took my lost rolls of film to get developed, along with three other rolls I needed to get developed. I was happy to find that not only on the lost rolls, but the original three rolls I had lost moments I had completely forgotten about. A formal here; a day with friends there. Pictures from my trip to New York, skydiving and backpacking…many moments I never even knew I captured.

The next time you clean out your room, attic, garage, car…an old shoebox. Look for something that might have been lost, but now is found. You never know what memories and moments it might reveal.

“[Memory is] a man’s real possession…In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor.”
– Alexander Smith

I love candy

Yes, I love sweets…but only certain types. Of course I like ice cream, cake and brownies. It’s candy that really pushes me beyond “love” and into the “lust” category. What am I talking about? Willy Wonka Bottle Caps!!

You see I have always loved this specific candy and every year at Halloween I would pray that someone would be passing them out. As I got older (like 38 older…riiiiiiiiight) less and less people passed them out. You didn’t see them sold in stores and I thought all was lost. One day someone at my office had them; her son got them for Halloween and disliked them -apparently having no taste for fine candy. She was so nice as to give me a few packs and show me where to buy them online. To my great dismay, I never ordered them.

Two years ago I found them. Two pound bags on sale during Halloween!! I bought two bags (that’s four pounds for the arithmetically challenged) and was happier then a kid not knowing he was about to get 40 cavities!

Needless to say, I ate almost a full pound of bottle caps the day I bought them…of course I ended up getting sick. Now before you pass judgement on me, think of two things:

1) I don’t care what you think because this is my lame-O life and I know it’s lame; so how sad is it that you have to read about me eating candy and tell me I’m lame? Pah-leez!
2) I love Willy Wonka Bottle Caps more then a sex-a-holic likes sex…so what do you expect?

So where was I? RIGHT! I had eaten nearly a full pound of these soda pop flavored bijoux before I turned my stomach inside-out. Yuck. Other then a glass of water and a nap I only wanted one thing: my taste buds to recover from the tart sweets I had been pounding. My tongue was so raw it hurt to drink water. Was it ever worth it!

After sleeping my sugar coma off I was on a mission the next day…to eat more Bottle Caps! This time of course moderation was key. There was no need to ruin my taste for something so unique, people fly around the world twice just to sample! — Note: that is a bold faced lie.– Needless to say I munched on Bottle Caps for a few weeks after that and I was smart enough not to make myself sick until I opened the second bag and repeated the process; sans turning my stomach inside-out.

This past year I found them again! However, they were in only one pound bags…how very depressing. I was even smart enough not to make myself sick at all. That intelligence lasted until this Spring when I found Starburst jellybeans on sale…my other sweet crux.

It was so important for me to eat them I totally forgot that I might get sick..maybe it was the lack of tart-burn (yes I made that up) on my tongue? Who knows?!? I do know that I was laying on my stomach on the floor because that was the only thing that felt good. I cried as I begged passersby to please eat just one jellybean and describe the taste to me…I wanted another one so bad! I couldn’t eat one more, I thought my life was coming to an end the pain was so great. Again I had to walk off the pain and sleep off the sugar coma.

I have not since repeated those events and I have no plans to…at least until Halloween, or the next candy sale.

Quizzes tell a story

( ) I’VE NEVER BEEN DRUNK
( ) I’VE NEVER SMOKED POT
( ) I’VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
() I’VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND’S CAR
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
( ) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
( ) I’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
( ) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN FIRED
( ) I’VE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I NEVER TRIED ECSTACY
( ) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT’S HOUSE
( ) I’VE NEVER BEEN CHEATED ON
( ) I’VE NEVER CHEATED ON SOMEONE
( ) I NEVER DATED SOMEONE, BUT WANTED SOMEONE ELSE
( ) I NEVER RECEIVED A SPEEDING TICKET
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
( ) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
( ) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
( ) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
( ) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
( ) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(X) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
( ) I’VE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
( ) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) I NEVER CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED
(X) I’VE NEVER POSED NUDE
(X) I’VE NEVER DRIVEN A CAR ILLEGALLY
( ) I’VE NEVER BEEN ON TV

I know you hate me for back-posting; but it’s tough love…really. This week became a little busy for me so I had only had time to publish my featurette because it’s all saved as draft posts. Hopefully things will be calm today at lunch and I can finish this post and dish out a few more.

Cheers
– bd

I love cartoons.

I don’t wake up at 5 am on Saturday morning anymore…hell I don’t wake up before 7am unless there is a fire…but I still have a few favorites that I hate to miss. Right now my favorite is Teen Titans. If you have cartoon network you can watch it weekdays and new episodes are on weekends. There is one character that I totally love (no not that way): Raven. She has powers that run off her emotions; so she comes off as a Goth kinda depressed adolescent. She researches magic and history books for spells and such…she has to meditate and try to keep herself in check otherwise her emotions go crazy and her powers are not under control. For some reason I fell like I can empathize with her to a point…after all I don’t have powers and I’m not a woman…hell I’m not a cartoon either. Okay so I have no idea how I can empathize with her, but I do. So I want this figurine of Raven, but it’s $90!! Anyone want to buy it for me?

Cartoons feel like they recharge my inner child and for me that is important. My imagination and creativity spawn from my inner child. I feel like too many people lose their inner child as they grow up; only thinking that the only way to get it back is to have kids. You don’t need kids to nurture your inner child…art, books, movies, cartoons, laughter and a good amount of time thinking about things you never thought about help bring you back to those early years.

As I recall previous post, I snipped a quote from a book that talks about this…

“Everybody has the ability to free associate, but society tends to frown on active fantasies. Beyond a certain age, we stop playing games, ‘let’s pretend’, ‘what if,’ and all that. It goes on in your head anyway, but at some point you start to feel guilty. You know, you listen to a symphony and imagine that you’re the conductor, and there you are, conducting like crazy, but then you get to be a grown man, and you say, ‘Gee, I’d hate for anybody to know that I’m pretending I’m conducting the symphony.’ But that kind of fantasy life is the real key to problem solving at every level. It’s certainly the primary tool for problem solving in art, whether it’s painting or dancing or choreography or directing films or writing scripts or writing novels or whatever.” Creative problem solving is a form of innovative learning.
– Snipped from: On Becoming a Leader, The Leadership Classic; Updated and Expanded; By: Warren Bennis; pg.69; Comment from movie director Pollack

Closing comment: I don’t want to grow up I’m a toys r us kid.

I find inspiration in interesting things

I’m not an artist, but I love art…I imagine creating masterpieces, but not through my eyes; through the original artist’s. I hear music and dream of composing (or spinning if it’s electronic) and producing. I try to envision what might have inspired the music’s creator and try to feed off of that energy. I let my imagination run wild on a routine basis and it runs back-to-back marathons on a routine basis.

Times of reflection are different for everyone. Some reflect in many ways, others reflect in only a few ways. Personally…I’m a “many ways” person. Reflection with me usually involves something in the form of music, writing and/or reading. I use that time to find new inspiration for my next idea, or to get my through the next day.

When I first started in college I had this fascination with office supplies. I know, it’s weird, but it is confession Wednesday damn it! Since I was studying engineering, the protractors, compasses, triangles and French curves (not French supermodels) made me want to create something. I have the same fascination with graph paper, graph paper composition books (remember those hard bound books?) and nice pens. Now I keep a pad of graph paper next to my bed…all of my notebooks are graph paper…my mouse pad is a stack of graph paper (gift fro ma friend!) and my favorite note taking software (Microsoft OneNote) is set up so all of my pages look like graph paper! It’s crazy I know…but there is something about graph paper and a good pen that make me want to write, draw…no, they make me want to think.

I have two pens that I love. One is a Cross pen and the other is a Mont Blanc pen. When I have trouble thinking I just grab either pen and “write the problem out” in my mind. I cannot tell you how effective this is for me. When I an trying to develop a new idea, or when I have a creative thought on the tip of my tongue, I grab a pen. The concept here is that I created a pattern and I created a setting where I am creative when I use a certain pen and a certain notebook (I have different notebooks for different ideas)…that way I put my mind in that “mode” before I tackle a problem.

What else do I tend to draw inspiration from? Watches, clocks, slide rules. Why? I have no idea! It comes from some fascination with time, time management and mechanical items that we use to measure things. As I have stated many times over, I am always late; but no clock I own or I have control over can be more then 60 seconds off of the correct time without it driving me nuts. Why? I have no idea! I’m crazy and it’s confession Wednesday for crying out loud…

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
– Jack London