Posts from the ‘lazy posts’ Category

So here is something to cheer you up

I love cheesy humor and one of my friends sent this to me…I could read this over and over without getting bored. Hey dorks rule!

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, Sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says… “Dam!”.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron,” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name im “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …(Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!

One for the road

Has anyone seen this blog yet? The Blogs is awesome! If only I had a little more time on my hands…

Enjoy the weekend!

On this BS Day

I’m sooo moody today I don’t even have the energy to get into it. This weekend was bizarre and women are just bizarre. Dissed, ditched and stood up. WTF is with people? So lemme cry my little cry and rant my little rant…I know you are all so eager to let the words go in one ear and out the other.

Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah; blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah; blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah; blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah; blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah; blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah.

And that’s just part of the story…Happy Valentine’s Day kids.

Valentine’s Day is coming

There must be another love-n-relationship Hallmark Holiday on it’s way because my cynical bastard routine is kicking in. I should have saved the rant on The behavior of animals for next week. Damn am I moody.

Thankfully one of my good friends just invited me over for an “F Valentine’s Day” party!! AWESOME!

The day just got better.

Google Search: merovingian believes that

What kind of subtitle is that? Well if you Google Search “merovingian believes that” I pop up #1. Awww how nice! One of the orignial BD posts too: People are interesting at times.

I love seeing the cracked out referrals I get!

Original post: The Babbling Dweeb : If you build it they will come

They might be around the corner

This is really a mini-spawn of a comment and post on Christie’s blog…but it makes for a good post.

To start: I don’t have all the answers! :) To be quite honest, I have not found love with this strategy yet, but I have met some amazing people and I have a little more hope that there are more women out there that are my “type”…which is a nice feeling. I might be in the same boat as you; well I’m not looking for a guy, but…

I came up with this little “plan” if you will. I meet/talk/email/IM/Whatever with new people often, so I pick their brain. When I meet a new girl I don’t care if she’s married or has a boyfriend; if she’s my type I want to know where she hangs out and what she does in her free time. I don’t ask HER out and I don’t usually ask them to set me up with their friends. So why do I ask about where she hangs out and what she does for fun? Well, because she is my “type” and if I know where she hangs out I might find other girls like her hanging out there as well. I try to stick to the adage that good people keep good company. In the end I brushed up on my small talk, made a new friend and I got a little dish on were to find Miss Might-Be-Right…she had a conversation with someone that wasn’t hitting on her and made a new friend, she might have found someone for one of her girlfriends that’s been looking for someone like me. It’s a win-win.

I suggested to one of my girl friends (note: not girlfriend, girl that’s a friend) that she hang out in places she likes. She likes to read and she loves Starbucks, so I told her to start spending time reading there. She doesn’t have to chug 40 gallons of coffee to go there; she can just go there and read. I figured eventually one of the guys there might get the courage to talk to her -or- she might get the courage to talk to one of the guys there. It’s not the perfect ideal, but it’s a start and you have to start somewhere.

I suggest that you hang out in your element…if you like working out, keep your eyes peeled at the gym. If you like the mall, look for guys that are there often (you might find a shopping partner). If you like dancing, check out a local swing/salsa bar. Don’t get bummed when you don’t meet Mr/Miss Perfect the first night out. Give it time and just have fun. Most people would rather approach a someone that looks like they is fun and is having fun then a someone that looks like they is just looking for Mr/Miss Right.