Skip to content

Archive for

What the hell #42



Vote joke

It’s timely and funny.

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with w aste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning…… Today you voted.”

Confession Wednesday #46



I need to repeat last Fall

I am currently throwing some good money after bad, yeah I am playing poker again. My first live game a few weeks back went well. The following week I won some money, last week I won some more…and lost some. Tonight I lost again, with a big game on Friday…I could use a little luck.

Last Fall I amassed enough cash to pay for books and a little of my tuition money for school, I could use the same luck this Fall that’s for sure. With a few extra bills this month than I am used to, things are getting tight…so why not gamble? :)

Maybe I should start playing the lotto too…

What the hell #41



The grass is actually brown-er

Yes i said browner. I happened across this article a few weeks back and just got a chance to read it last Friday. If you are the type to look into situations that fall into “the grass is always greener” category then this article is for you…it’s some of the best advice I have come across on the net.

“Trust me when I say that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and even if it appears to be, you may never know or be able to replicate how to get it that way. The only grass you’ll ever really know is your own.

So here’s a challenge for everyone reading this. Take some time every day to enjoy the grass in your own backyard. It may be brown, it may have weeds and it may need lots of work. It’s also the only grass you’ll ever have and when you really think about it, it’s probably not as bad as you think.”
– Lifehacker: Learn to love your own grass