Posts from the ‘what the hell’ Category
What the hell #45
Apparently MTV isn’t in the business of showing off celebrity status when the folks are frugal with their money!
Rapper Shows Off His Two Affordable and Practical Vehicles on “MTV Cribs”: “Cribs’ segment producer Jonah Rothelsberg explained the reasoning behind shelving the show. ‘I appreciate P-Krunk’s unique taste, but we have a responsibility to our young viewers and advertisers to show the real lifestyles that are true to the artist’s genre of music. A rapper who doesn’t capriciously spend all his money on cars and 100-inch plasmas is an anomaly that strains credibility. Our viewers would think we made this up or were trying to punk them.’ Rothelsberg cleared his throat and continued with a grin in a fake urban patois, ‘Sorry playa, my homies just ain’t havin’ it.'”
What the hell #44
Everyone should have done their civic duty yesterday and voted -even if your vote is mostly useless. I digress. You should have voted, but been careful of the INSNAE people that take voting way too far (again for something that means very little).
Why? Well you could have been strangled by a volunteer or you could have watched a man destroy an e-voting machine with a paperweight -that was shaped like a cat.
People take this stuff too seriously!
What the hell #43
Reasons to vote
We all need them, here are the BBspot – Top 11 Reasons to Vote
Because this year Al Franken will literally beat the shit out of you if you’re not wearing an “I Voted” sticker.
What the hell #42
It’s timely and funny.
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with w aste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning…… Today you voted.”
What the hell #41
The grass is actually brown-er
Yes i said browner. I happened across this article a few weeks back and just got a chance to read it last Friday. If you are the type to look into situations that fall into “the grass is always greener” category then this article is for you…it’s some of the best advice I have come across on the net.
“Trust me when I say that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and even if it appears to be, you may never know or be able to replicate how to get it that way. The only grass you’ll ever really know is your own.
So here’s a challenge for everyone reading this. Take some time every day to enjoy the grass in your own backyard. It may be brown, it may have weeds and it may need lots of work. It’s also the only grass you’ll ever have and when you really think about it, it’s probably not as bad as you think.”
– Lifehacker: Learn to love your own grass
What the hell #40
Have a joke
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, “What the heck is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost.”